#girlboss

It’s a term I absolutely love! According to a popular Netflix movie, a #girlboss is strong, smart, resilient, opinionated, confident and feisty! Do you agree? If not, no worries! Everyone has a different definition. While the point is to define what being a #girlboss means FOR YOU, the more important thing is to BE THAT. In your personal life, work life or however else you define your life.

BE. THE. BOSS. OF. YOUR. OWN. LIFE.

Not someone else’s. Live your best life. Stay in your lane and mind your own business. 🙋🏽 If you need to find (or re-find) inspiration you can listen to a #girlboss playlist (Spotify), read a #girlboss book, check out #girlboss quotes on Pinterest, set up a #girlboss lockscreen on your phone or take a #girlboss trip. #whateverworks

LIVE. THE. LIFE. YOU. WANT. MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.

You can be 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 100+! Just know that while you are doing all those things, so are others and it’s okay! For me, being a #girlboss means protecting my space and my peace. I guard that very closely because most times I just CANNOT!!!! 🚫

FIND. YOUR. PASSION. AND. DO. THAT.

FACT: I like writing and paper. And guess what? So do A LOT of other people. As normal, we take the things we love whole new #levels! See also: Planner Situation, my current favorite pen (there’s nothing wrong with a little bling!) or Shop PaperSource. Another one of my personal #girlboss criteria is to have order in my life – in written form of course – (and to look the part 😉)! The essential item I use to do this is an agenda. Mine is currently being repaired and I feel SO VERY stifled. 😩

You may have noticed I underlined a few words above: FIND, BE, DO, LIVE. They are all verbs because at the heart of being a #girlboss is to take ACTION.

GO. GET. IT. 🖤

Positioning

paparazzi600x399This morning I woke up with one word on my mind: positioning. As in the act of getting into an ideal spot. Parents sacrifice so their kids can go to the best schools, that is an act of positioning them for future success. Papparrazi climb fences/gates just so they can get the perfect shot. That’s also positioning. If you play chess or know anything about it, you also know that finding a way to get your pieces in the perfect spot so you can go boldly proclaim, checkmate. Finding the correct spot a particular piece needs to be in on that chess board at exactly the right time is an act of positioning.

Positioning is a constantly evolving thing and the spot you need to be in today is not necessarily the same spot you need to be in tomorrow. Sometimes you have to remove barriers or knock on new doors, stretch yourself to heights you never knew you could go to or maybe even give up something in hopes of getting something else. Prime example: As I got older I realized I didn’t want to live in the North; but, I viewed it as a means to an end. It was a part of my journey that was required to land me in the very spot I’m in today. I picked up pieces along the way, pieces that allowed me to get in position. And on that journey – from Birmingham to Rochester to Cleveland and finally to my “destination”, Atlanta – I gained some things and I lost some things. And I’m perfectly ok with that because I’m in position. The position I say I should be in.

tumblr_ly2c8jmxum1r4dfvho1_500My point to you is this: the only person that knows the ideal position at this very point in time for your life is you. Your positioning is up to no one other than you – you own it, you decide. You get to take credit and rejoice when things go well; but, you also have to take responsibility when they don’t go well, regardless of the reasoning behind it. You are required to first decide you need to be in a different position, investigate and truly understand what that means, claim it, pray about it, move into it and then do (or not do) all the things required to maintain your spot or position.

Positioning can apply to work, home or play and you are the only one that can be the MVP of your Game of Life. Pay very close attention when your positioning feels off and do something about it. Or as Beyonce would say, “Get in Formation.” Don’t just sing, do.

Yara Shahidi

Yara Shahidi plays Zoey on ABC’s Black-ish. She’s only 16 years old and already brands herself as a budding humanitarian and activist (her words). I recently ran across Yara’s work on Tracee Ellis Ross’s Instagram page. Tracee wrote, 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾I don’t remember being this ‘woke’ or this clear when I was her age, but intelligent, conscious young women like my TV daughter @YaraShahidi give me so much hope for the future! After reading Tracee’s statement, I was intrigued so I watched the short video of Yara on Tracee’s Instagram page before finding and listening to her full speech on YouTube.

2-minute video snippet. Here are two of my favorite quotes from Yara’s speech at the 2016 Conference on Volunteering and Service (blog post):

  • Children are the anomaly if they succeed, the expectation if they fail.

  • I’m cool plus I’m black which is cool so I win twice ✌🏽️

Click the image below for more pics of Yara at the BET Awards.

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Zero Debt

When you read the title of this post I bet your mind immediately thought about money. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you but this post is not at all about money. It is about another form of debt, one that subtly creeps into our lives and creates must-do situations. Can you think of what it might be? Let’s start with the definition:

something owed; a state of owing

See, that definition doesn’t say anything about money. Debt is a state of mind, created when you feel like you owe something to someone or something. Owe as in you are obligated, there is no other choice. When we start to think about debt that way you can see how you can fall deeper into debt in any area, no credit card required.

brain-tiredI ran across an article, Busyness is a Kind of Debt. The article wasn’t what I expected but I do like the title so I want to reframe the conversation in terms of what my expectations were after I read the title. We sign ourselves up for things all time, sometimes weeks or even months in advance. We’re optimistic that we’ll have time and we over commit. The act of “signing up for something” makes us feel important or special or part of something or whatever we like to call it. Commitments are debt that creates busyness. Busyness is a kind of debt. And we all know the toll financial debt can have on you: it makes you feel overwhelmed, you stress out about it, you have to spend time and energy figuring out how we’re going to deal with it or make it work, along with a host of other emotions!

The goal of this article is not to convince you to stop committing to things or to stop you from taking on more debt. in the case of busy debt, just like when it comes to money, the maximum level you can tolerate is up to you and only you; but, unfortunately there is no bank or other entity setting a limit for you, in other words you can easily go over the limit, your limit. Yes, you can take on as much or as little debt as you want. When we think of debt in the financial sense, we know what to do when it gets to be too much: we stop using our credit cards, we cut we them up, give them to a friend to hold onto or we might even freeze them; but, what happens when you get overwhelmed with busyness? Do you know what to do? Maybe you get tired and just need some down time. What do you do when you find yourself with a string of debt affording you zero time to relax, recharge or rejuvenate. How about we freeze our busyness every now and again, get our debt level back to zero???

Take a few moments to think about the debt you create in your life. And maybe the next time we’re presented with a debt-creating/inducing situation or opportunity 🤔, we can all practice saying, “Let me get back to you on that.” Check your tank first, then decide.

Master Computer (or Life) Filter

Let me warn you: this is not meant to be an informative-like post; but, rather a rant. So buckle your seat belts…. Every day when I log into Twitter, Facebook, Feedly and other social media sites I see great articles and things I like to read every day. Sometimes I get frustrated, like tonight and think to myself, “Why is everybody posting about these stupid things I’d rather not see/hear about??”

button deleteWhy can’t I create a Google-like search for my ENTIRE computer that filters OUT content from EVERY site I log into, based on my preferences. How would this work? I’m glad you ask! When you perform a normal Google search, you would typically type something like “mustang”. You can FILTER OUT the types of mustangs you DON’T want to see by typing this EXACT text this in the search box: “mustang -red”. The “-red” is what narrows the search results and ELIMINATES red mustangs. Think of a Venn Diagram: the largest circle is the master set (or universe) – it contains all mustangs: black, white, pink, red, orange purple, you name it. Within that circle there are smaller of circles: one with all pink mustangs in it, one for the red mustangs, etc. You’re not sure what color mustang you want but you know red is out of the question. So you search for exactly that: mustang -red (more Google search tips here) Maybe something good is coming out of this post after all.

Anyway, I think you get my drift. This is what I want for my computer – or actually for my life entire would be even better – I want to create a master Google-like search on my computer for stuff that I never want to hear or see. It would look something like this:

SHOW ALL -kanye -oscars -taylorswift -kardashian -justinbieber

filter_dataApple are you listening? Maybe there’s a solution already out there – one for Chrome, one for Facebook, Instagram, Feedly, etc. That’s not what I’m asking for. I want one MASSIVE and MASTER filter that would work on my entire computer (or life if you’re ambitious) and I want it now, please (see, I can be polite) Besides, who has time to install a separate filter, plugin or extension for each app, site or service they use.

So, that’s all I have. Yes, it’s a rant – I don’t do many of these – but I did tell you that from the beginning. If you’re still reading, thanks for listening. At least you can enjoy the video below and get a few more tips on filtering your Google search results. #TheFilterGirl

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