#girlboss

It’s a term I absolutely love! According to a popular Netflix movie, a #girlboss is strong, smart, resilient, opinionated, confident and feisty! Do you agree? If not, no worries! Everyone has a different definition. While the point is to define what being a #girlboss means FOR YOU, the more important thing is to BE THAT. In your personal life, work life or however else you define your life.

BE. THE. BOSS. OF. YOUR. OWN. LIFE.

Not someone else’s. Live your best life. Stay in your lane and mind your own business. 🙋🏽 If you need to find (or re-find) inspiration you can listen to a #girlboss playlist (Spotify), read a #girlboss book, check out #girlboss quotes on Pinterest, set up a #girlboss lockscreen on your phone or take a #girlboss trip. #whateverworks

LIVE. THE. LIFE. YOU. WANT. MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.

You can be 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 100+! Just know that while you are doing all those things, so are others and it’s okay! For me, being a #girlboss means protecting my space and my peace. I guard that very closely because most times I just CANNOT!!!! 🚫

FIND. YOUR. PASSION. AND. DO. THAT.

FACT: I like writing and paper. And guess what? So do A LOT of other people. As normal, we take the things we love whole new #levels! See also: Planner Situation, my current favorite pen (there’s nothing wrong with a little bling!) or Shop PaperSource. Another one of my personal #girlboss criteria is to have order in my life – in written form of course – (and to look the part 😉)! The essential item I use to do this is an agenda. Mine is currently being repaired and I feel SO VERY stifled. 😩

You may have noticed I underlined a few words above: FIND, BE, DO, LIVE. They are all verbs because at the heart of being a #girlboss is to take ACTION.

GO. GET. IT. 🖤

Happiness – an inside job

Happiness-Is-An-Inside-Job

I recently discovered a new blog, Hack Life, and one of the site’s last post is absolutely amazing! The title of the article ism “Happiness is an inside job”. I even found an article written by the Huffington Post that describes the very same concept this way:

As long as you believe that your happiness comes from outside you, happiness will likely elude you. Every moment that you look to people, things, events and outcomes to make you happy is a moment of life lost. Every moment spent trying to control someone or something in the hopes of getting what you believe will make you happy is a moment of happiness and joy lost. Happiness is not something that happens to you. It is something you choose or don’t choose each and every moment.

Is that not amazing? I love it! But, back to the original article; I will summarize the tips here for you because reading the pointers/tips alone are valuable in itself! You can read the original article for more commentary.

Here are the 12 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone:

  1. You don’t owe anyone the right to regulate your dreams.
  2. You don’t owe anyone the right to clutter your mental and physical space.
  3. You don’t owe anyone else a rationalization for investing in yourself.
  4. You don’t owe anyone another excuse (but you owe yourself another chance).
  5. You don’t owe anyone the authority to validate you.
  6. You don’t owe anyone the love you need to be giving yourself.
  7. You don’t owe anyone the respect you deserve to be showing yourself.
  8. You don’t owe anyone else a “yes” when you need to say “no.”
  9. You don’t owe anyone else your quiet “me time.”
  10. You don’t owe anyone a change in your fashion, style or appearance.
  11. You don’t owe anyone else an explanation about your important relationships.
  12. You don’t owe anyone the power to repeatedly break your heart (but you owe yourself a chance to heal once and for all).

See also: No is a complete sentence sentence from THE shined rhimes herself in a discussion with Oprah.  her and her! lol

 

Love *now*

University of Pennsylvania's 258th Commencement CeremonyDid you know that (opening your heart and mind to) love was the key to success, the key to happiness? How about that Kanye West had a pig part in developing John Legend‘s career when everyone else said no? These are revelations made in John’s address to the Class of 2014 at The University of Pennsylvania. You can read his entire speech here but I want to highlight a few words that stood out to me:

  • ON SUCCESS: The key to success, the key to happiness, is opening your mind and your heart to love. Spending your time doing things you love and with people you love.

  • ON CHARACTER: They [his parents] taught us about character, about what it meant to live a good life.

  • ON BEING BETTER: I put a lot of energy into becoming a better artist, a better writer and a better performer. Keyword BETTER.

  • ON QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS: But years from now, when you look back on your time here on earth, your life and your happiness will be way more defined by the quality of your relationships, not the quantity. You’ll get much more joy out of depth, not breadth.

  • ON MARRIAGE: I’ve found someone who makes me want to try, someone who makes me want to take that risk. And it’s made all the difference.

  • ON FEAR: Hate comes from one thing: fear. And fear is the opposite of love.

  • ON JUSTICE:If you’re committed to loving in public, it requires you opening your eyes to injustice, to see the world through the eyes of another.

And in closing

“I want you to live the best life you can. You can be world-changers. When you leave here today, you’re going to be looking for a lot of things: security, money, friendships, sex, all kinds of things. But the most important thing you’ll find is love.

So love your self, love your work, love the people around youDare to love those who are different from you, no matter where they’re from, what they look like, and who they love. Pursue this life of love with focus and passion and ambition and courage. Give it your all. And that will be your path to true success.”

Calm in Chaos

ftfLife is tough. It’s hard. There’s always curve balls thrown at you from multiple angles: some you knock out of the park and some knock you down. There is a single factor that determines the outcome, regardless of the situation: you. So what’s the secret sauce? How do you stay calm in the midst of chaos, when you’ve got multiple things competing for your attention? The answer is tucked away in a book called First Things First by Stephen R. Covey. I received a copy of this book in 2001 by my manager while on my very first internship at Lucent Technologies. In your personal life, at work, in social circles, I’m telling you unequivocally this book is the answer because it asks one question: What are the most important things in your life? and forces you to #prioritize your greatest asset, #time.

So let’s get down to it. Grab a piece of paper and draw a square. Now divide it into 4 equal sections. You will fill in those boxes with all the things or tasks that occupy or compete for your time. They could be PTA meetings, Exercise, or preparing for a big presentation at work.

  • Top Left: Important and Urgent (crises, deadline-driven projects)
  • Top Right: Important, Not Urgent (preparation, prevention, planning, relationships)
  • Bottom Left: Urgent, Not Important (interruptions, many pressing matters)
  • Bottom Right: Not Urgent, Not Important (trivia, time wasters)

prioririesI’m serious here… Grab a piece of paper and get started! When you’re done, label the first column urgent, the second column not urgent. Label the first row important and the second row not important. Finally, I want you to do one thing: write a Big Fat Red X  on the bottom 2 squares. Why? Because they’re distractions! Avoid them at all costs and notice when others try to force you to respond to or focus on these types of situation. Spend your time on all those items you wrote on the top row and be strategic about it! That’s how you can stay calm in the midst of chaos: focus on what matters to YOU. Your blood pressure will thank you.

Will You Marry Me?

1404719_10202382821193687_811824248_oI just read the realist of all blog posts about responding to a proposal. Everyone does not say yes the first time! The entire article is a GREAT read but I have to share the #1 reason why Heather Lindsey, the author, kept saying no: PEACE. It’s not something you can force, buy, concoct or dream up – it just happens: at the right time and with the right person. Trust me when I say, do not do anything until until you are absolutely sure you have PEACE.

side note: if you’re not sure if you have peace, that  probably means you don’t

Here are Heather’s reasons for saying no:

  1. I didn’t respect him as a man.

  2. I didn’t have peace.

  3. I wasn’t getting better as a woman.

  4. He wasn’t a leader.

  5. I didn’t trust him.

  6. I wasn’t attracted to him.

  7. I didn’t like his friends.

  8. He was so secretive.

  9. He was somebody else’s husband.

  10. God told me no.

noI can tell you RIGHT NOW that every single reason on this list is SUPER TRUE and more about YOU and how the relationship makes YOU feel, than it is about the guy. And don’t even think about checking that Maybe box! You should never go into a marriage trying to change a person. If you can’t accept him 100% just as he is today, there is no room for expecting a miracle tomorrow!