Bri’s Favorite Things 2016

So, beautiful people… it’s time for Bri’s Favorite Things 2016! Looking over my list, I can truly say that ACCESSORIES definitely stole the year! If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you already know the deal:

  1. Shopping is easy when you buy the things you love for the people you love
  2. I only recommend things I’ve actually purchased for myself ❤️❤️❤️

There are more than twenty-five items this year!!! 😳 All super fabulous, of course. ☺️ If you’re a guy and need ideas for your gal, this list is for you! If you’re a girl shopping for your mom, sister, neice, cousin, BFF (or for yourself 😉), this list is also for you!

Enjoy!!!

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Louis Vuitton Large Ring Agenda CoverMichael Kors Jeweled Keaton Slip-On Sneaker,   J. Crew Tippi SweaterPandora Shimmering Rose EarringsLouis Vuitton Pochette Felicie, Philosophy Just Release Me Makeup RemoverThe New Jim CrowKenneth Cole Nap PillowCole Haan Tali Bow FlatGucci Soho Discho Handbag, Chanel No 5 Eau de Toilette Spray, Ralph Lauren Slipper Bootie, EllandEmm Vogue Sweatshirt, Louis Vuitton Key Pouch, Pandora Alluring Brilliant Ring, Louis Vuitton Cosmetic Pouch, Sticky Notes (Fancy, Marble), Banana Republic Moonless Night Long-Sleeve Cozy Top, Neutral T-Shirt, Nike Free RN Running ShoeNike Featherlight Baseball Cap50 for Your Future, Solange A Seat At The Table

See Also: Bri’s Favorite Things 201520142013

Three Little Words

This post is amazing; however it is not my own and was posted, in its entirety, on LinkedIn. The article is so great, I plan to read the author’s book, The Introvert Entrepreneur.

One rainy afternoon a few years ago, I was driving into Seattle for a networking event when my husband called me on my cell. I answered (this was pre-hands-free law) and listened, noting the barely perceptible panic in his voice: something unexpected had come up, and he needed the car for an off-site meeting. Since I was in the car, traveling up I-5 at 65mph in the opposite direction from him, he clearly had a problem.

There was a time when I would have sighed, said, “I’ll be right there,” and gotten off at the next exit and turned around. He called me with a problem; I had to save the day, right? I would have felt mildly annoyed but, in a twisted way, virtuous for having come to his rescue and fixed his problem. (Oh, and my strong introvert side would have felt relieved… no networking event!)

But that’s not how this story ends. I listened to his description of the situation and said, “Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that. How else can you get to the meeting?” We brainstormed for a moment, he said, “I’ll figure it out,” and we hung up. And I forgot about the conversation until I got home later that evening.

This might not be a big deal to some people, but it was a true turning point for me. It was one of the first times I’d intentionally taken a concept I learned in coach training and put it into practice personally: see and hold others as whole, capable, and resourceful.

While the three words are simple, the concept is a game-changer.

If I choose to hold someone else as whole, capable, and resourceful, I see her not as a person to rescue, but a person to respect. Not broken, but healthy. Not helpless, but self-reliant. Not clueless, but creative.

So when I listened to my husband and didn’t offer to swoop in and make it all better, I was actually respecting his capacity to solve his problem. I was reminding him, in so many words, that he can take care of himself. I can offer support and a sympathetic ear, but I don’t have to abandon my own priority to take care of his. I trust that he can handle it (which increases his trust in himself). And I don’t assume my solution is his solution.

That’s a fairly obvious and simple example. There’s not a lot of emotion surrounding the situation, nor are the consequences dire. But how does it apply to more complicated situations? And why is it important to introverts?

I use the concept of whole, capable, and resourceful every single day. It primarily comes up in my coaching work. Each session, I listen to clients share their business or personal challenges, some of which are fairly profound. I have to check any urge to solve their problems. My job isn’t to give them advice and tell them what they should do (they get enough of that from other people). My job is to support the client as seeing himself as whole, capable, and resourceful.

Most of the time, it’s easy. I’ve been practicing it for the past eight years, so it’s not something I actively think about too much. But I remember in the beginning, I’d almost be haunted by my clients’ stories. I’d carry their thoughts with me and feel their pain. There was only a thin veil between their energy and mine.

So much of being a healthy, happy introvert is about managing our energy. To do that, we often find we need to establish boundaries: around our quiet time, our work spaces, our social interaction. And depending on our personality, we might find those boundaries frequently being violated because of our equal need to help (to be of service), to feel needed, to show love by being the shoulder to cry on or the sympathetic ear.

Being “The Fixer” is a role many of us slip into, regardless of whether we’re introverted or extroverted. Introverts who tend to lean this way might do so because they feel relief when attention shifts from them to a problem to fix. Therefore, this becomes the perfect opportunity to practice establishing a boundary of compassionate detachment, one that allows us to be present for someone without getting roped into the drama.

  1. Release the idea that you need to fix the person or solve the problem. Let go of “The Fixer” identity. Be present and curious, without going into rescue mode.
  2. Soften your presence (your heart, eyes, mouth, hands, shoulders). Rather than brace yourself to take action, relax and listen without judgment or analysis.
  3. Remind yourself that the other person is an intelligent, resourceful human being, capable of handling the situation.
  4. Give her the gift of your attention, space to think, and your belief she can figure it out.
  5. Come from curiosity. Ask: “What options do you have?” “When have you been in this situation before, and what did you do then?” “What’s most important right now?” “Do you want me to do some brainstorming with you?” “What would support you best right now?” Create a space in which the other person feels supported, seen, and heard, while encouraging her take the lead in finding resolution.
  6. If you do give advice or feedback, or offer to help, do so without attachment. Let the other person decide what she needs.

I can hear some of you now: “Yeah, that would work with a person who has it together, but it wouldn’t work for my crisis-oriented, super-needy brother/co-worker/mother-in-law.”

I’ll grant you this: there are some people who have certain life challenges that may make it seem difficult – if not impossible – for you to see them as whole, capable, and resourceful. Try anyway. Find ways to see past the surface issues and speak to their higher self, the one that longs to be respected and cherished, to be seen as capable. Discern what’s going to serve the situation best; sometimes a rescue is required. But always question that assumption.

Because that’s the bottom line: when we treat others with dignity and respect, they often rise to the occasion, whether they believe in their own capacity or not. Your belief in them inspires belief in themselves. This allows you to be present and compassionate without giving away your power.

It takes time to build this muscle. Start by noticing when you jump into rescue mode, and practice solving the problem with, rather than for, the other person. Gradually release any feeling of responsibility for their solution, and instead focus on how you can create a space that empowers the other person to figure it out.

Carl Jung concluded, “As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” You don’t have to stamp out the darkness; simply be the gentle light that shines on the brilliance of others, so they can discover it for themselves.

Smart Gun Technology

Yesterday President Barack Obama issued a memorandum, Promoting Smart Gun Technology. It’s easy to listen to everyone else’s summary of what the memorandum entails – even better is to READ THE MEMO FOR YOURSELF. Let me share a few important takeaways from this memo:

  • As with most federal issues, there was a “team” established 3 years ago to look at gun violence in general and make recommendations.
  • Within 90 days FROM TODAY (March 30, 2015), the Secretary of Defense, the Attorney General, and the Secretary of Homeland Security shall prepare jointly a report outlining a research and development strategy designed to expedite the real-world deployment of such technology for use in practice.
  • Department Consideration of New Technology. In today’s press conference, President Obama made a great comparison to technology most Americans already use today: If we can push a button to find our iPhones, why can’t we push a button to find our guns.

gun-diagram

516ZHwhNaUL._SX342_BO1,204,203,200_That very last statement is the most powerful statement I have heard to date about gun control. This idea is not revolutionary, as noted by The Blaze back in 2011. “Smart guns theoretically offer a way for a firearm to be personalized so it will only work for an “authorized person.” Engineers working on smart guns have already tried things like radio-frequency identification (RFID), fingerprint-recognition systems, and magnetic rings to keep an unauthorized person from firing a gun.” There was even a book written in 2014 called, “The Future of Guns”.

I don’t own a gun, never even touched one. (If I did it would be pink). I have no idea how much they cost. One thing I can comprehend is THE potential COST ASSOCIATED WITH THE A LOSS OF A GUN VS. THE COST OF LOSING AN IPHONE. If you consider it that way, this IS A LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION, regardless of the who or the what.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: DISMISSING THE IDEA THAT SOME ACTION, WHILE SURELY NOT A PANACEA, THAT AIMS TO PREVENT SOME GUN VIOLENCE MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL WHEN YOU HAVE NO SOLUTIONS OF YOUR OWN TO OFFER. No one with any sense takes you seriously. #solutionsplease #nopoundingthetable

Technology innovation solves tough problems. Now surely, there are traditional “gun companies” that will undoubtedly try to get in on the action when a Request for Proposal (RFP)) is issued. But I would LOVE to see the likes of Google, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook and others – major tech companies – BAN together to HELP the federal government sort through this issue. Think this is too far off? Well, what about Microsoft and Apple’s recently advertised, “Let there Be Peace on Earth and Let it Begin with Me” commercial? Controlling gun violence supports peace on earth, no? Doesn’t sound too far off if you ask me!!! #techrules

You can watch President Obama’s the full speech from today below (save yourself some time and skip to 12:57). and the Microsoft/Apple commercial I referenced here.

Year of Yes

This is not some game or new trendy thing to do. “Year of Yes” is a memoir by Shonda Rhimes (yes, that Shonda Rhimes). In Year of Yes, Shonda shares tips from her own enlightenment and how she changed her whole life. I don’t read many memoirs but I plan to read this one, every single page! 

 

NPR did a feature in which Shonda explains how she “Said ‘yes’ to her children”. What will you say yes to? No need to wait until the New Year to make a resolution you probably won’t keep… Start today. First and foremost Start by saying Yes to Yourself!

Accepting the concept that you don’t have to do the conventional thing because everyone says that’s what you should want. USA Today

If you missed Shonda on Ellen today, you can catch her with Oprah this Sunday. I will certainly be watching. I’ve already preordered my copy. Put this book on your Christmas list this year – for yourself or for a friend.
#readAnything #learn #grow #sayyes

Year of Yes, Amazon

  

Private Photo (Calculator%)

Kids have tricked their parents for decades. From the classic “going to the library” with a friend response to “group outings” that are really double dates – some parents have learned all the tricks and are hip to these games! But it’s a new day. Kids are not just into old-school trickery, they are much more tech-conscious and as a result, you definitely should expect and assume they are using most adults’ lack of tech-expertise to fully dupe them in every way possible. Surely you have noticed the trend: kids join Facebook/Instagram and by the time adults catch up and “join” to keep and eye on them, their pages go blank. There’s no more posting or sharing. Adults are left to “enjoy” the site themselves. Why? By the time you find out, the kids have already moved on to another new, cool tool (i.e. Snapchat, see privacy concerns here). Kids everywhere are definitely posting/sharing on some social media platform – you just aren’t aware of what that is yet. Which means you can’t know what they are doing.

 So let me ask you a question – if you want to check and see if your kids are taking inappropriate photos, where would you check? The photos app that comes with our phone? The trash to see what has been (temporarily) deleted? The sent folder in your child’s email? All very wrong! Kids are not that stupid.

Enter Calcualtor%. It looks like a regular Calcualtor app and even shows a calculator when you open the app up. But, there’s a secret door! (Yes, like the hidden ones we’ve seen the film Indiana Jones). Users can create a secret code that unlocks additional functionality:

Via Mashable, “But if you know the right sequence of digits, you can unlock a hidden feature that gives you access to a photo album. Inside the photo album, you can import photos you’ve already taken using the iPhone’s native photo app, shoot and save photos directly from the Calculator% app and email any photos saved in the app.”

Be sure to check out the video below which shows a 34-year old District Attorney from Alabama exposing this “secret”. There are also other apps that do the same thing (shocker). You can check them out here.