life – Bri Alys, LLC

#girlboss

Published on September 2017September 2017 by BriAlys

It’s a term I absolutely love! According to a popular Netflix movie, a #girlboss is strong, smart, resilient, opinionated, confident and feisty! Do you agree? If not, no worries! Everyone has a different definition. While the point is to define what being a #girlboss means FOR YOU, the more important thing is to BE THAT. In your personal life, work life or however else you define your life.

BE. THE. BOSS. OF. YOUR. OWN. LIFE.

Not someone else’s. Live your best life. Stay in your lane and mind your own business. 🙋🏽 If you need to find (or re-find) inspiration you can listen to a #girlboss playlist (Spotify), read a #girlboss book, check out #girlboss quotes on Pinterest, set up a #girlboss lockscreen on your phone or take a #girlboss trip. #whateverworks

LIVE. THE. LIFE. YOU. WANT. MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.

You can be 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 100+! Just know that while you are doing all those things, so are others and it’s okay! For me, being a #girlboss means protecting my space and my peace. I guard that very closely because most times I just CANNOT!!!! 🚫

FIND. YOUR. PASSION. AND. DO. THAT.

FACT: I like writing and paper. And guess what? So do A LOT of other people. As normal, we take the things we love whole new #levels! See also: Planner Situation, my current favorite pen (there’s nothing wrong with a little bling!) or Shop PaperSource. Another one of my personal #girlboss criteria is to have order in my life – in written form of course – (and to look the part 😉)! The essential item I use to do this is an agenda. Mine is currently being repaired and I feel SO VERY stifled. 😩

You may have noticed I underlined a few words above: FIND, BE, DO, LIVE. They are all verbs because at the heart of being a #girlboss is to take ACTION.

GO. GET. IT. 🖤

Positioning

Published on August 2016August 2016 by BriAlys

This morning I woke up with one word on my mind: positioning. As in the act of getting into an ideal spot. Parents sacrifice so their kids can go to the best schools, that is an act of positioning them for future success. Papparrazi climb fences/gates just so they can get the perfect shot. That’s also positioning. If you play chess or know anything about it, you also know that finding a way to get your pieces in the perfect spot so you can go boldly proclaim, checkmate. Finding the correct spot a particular piece needs to be in on that chess board at exactly the right time is an act of positioning.

Positioning is a constantly evolving thing and the spot you need to be in today is not necessarily the same spot you need to be in tomorrow. Sometimes you have to remove barriers or knock on new doors, stretch yourself to heights you never knew you could go to or maybe even give up something in hopes of getting something else. Prime example: As I got older I realized I didn’t want to live in the North; but, I viewed it as a means to an end. It was a part of my journey that was required to land me in the very spot I’m in today. I picked up pieces along the way, pieces that allowed me to get in position. And on that journey – from Birmingham to Rochester to Cleveland and finally to my “destination”, Atlanta – I gained some things and I lost some things. And I’m perfectly ok with that because I’m in position. The position I say I should be in.

My point to you is this: the only person that knows the ideal position at this very point in time for your life is you. Your positioning is up to no one other than you – you own it, you decide. You get to take credit and rejoice when things go well; but, you also have to take responsibility when they don’t go well, regardless of the reasoning behind it. You are required to first decide you need to be in a different position, investigate and truly understand what that means, claim it, pray about it, move into it and then do (or not do) all the things required to maintain your spot or position.

Positioning can apply to work, home or play and you are the only one that can be the MVP of your Game of Life. Pay very close attention when your positioning feels off and do something about it. Or as Beyonce would say, “Get in Formation.” Don’t just sing, do.

Life is Like Tetris

Published on January 2016January 2016 by BriAlys

I ran across an amazing article at Medium.com, “Your Life Is Tetris. Stop Playing It Like Chess.” This article encompasses the very reason of why I love reading (and writing) blogs – people express themselves, compare things, and making amazing analogies. There are usually no canned thoughts and it’s very authentic. Before I capture the essence of the article I read, let’s talk a little about how these games work: In Tetris you are given varying shapes/blocks and your goal is to make them all fit evenly and score points in a set amount of time. There’s no competition, just you and those blocks. Each time you play, you try to beat your last game’s score. In Chess, there’s you and an opponent, each with the same “pieces” and the goal is to absolutely beat the other person – capture their king There can be only one winner and there is no time limit.

The author compare these two games to The Game of Life, which i’ve written about before. (Click HERE for a review). The entire article is an great read; but here’s a summary: (my commentary in pink)

In life, your only opponent is yourself. The real game of life is completely internal. STOP TRYING TO COMPETE/COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. FOCUS ON BEING THE VERY BEST VERSION OF YOU!
In life, things don’t get harder — they just get faster. The only way to master life — like Tetris — is to learn to play with the same self-control at the highest speeds. LEARNING TO ADAPT TO AD REMAIN CLAM IN ANY AND EVERY SITUATION IS WHAT SEPARATES DRAMA QUEENS FROM THE REST OF THE SAME POPULATION. RELAX.
In life, you can’t control the board. Like Tetris, you can simply put yourself in the best possible position without seeking to completely control the system you play in. YOU’VE HEARD THE SAYING, PLAY THE HAND YOU’VE BEEN DEALT. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE CARDS YOU’VE BEEN HANDED (OR SELECTED FOR YOURSELF), GO OUT AND GET NEW ONES. NO ONE OWES A NEW HAND.
In life, no one tells you when you’ve won. I don’t play to win — I play to play. WHAT DOES WINNING MEAN TO YOU? YOUR WINNING != TO MY WINNING. HAVE FUN! ENJOY LIFE! CELEBRATE THE SMALL THINGS. ONLY YOU CAN DETERMINE WHEN YOU’VE WON.

Financial Peer Pressure

Published on December 2015 by BriAlys

Before you read, L-I-S-T-E-N to this!!!!

Over the years, I’ve noticed that moment when each of my children started caring about what other people think of them. One by one, I’ve watched as the opinions of others become a big deal in their own decision-making. As smart, mature adults, we have a term for that: peer pressure.

This can cause all sorts of trouble in our financial lives. Instead of making financial decisions based on what will be best for us, we start doing things based on what others will think. We end up trying to live other people’s financial lives. Very few people actually pay attention to how and why they use money. When pushed, they have a hard time separating their “why” from someone else’s “why.” Not everybody you try to “model” your life after has the same financial makeup as you (income, expenses, assets, liabilities), so trying to “match” what you see in fact may work for someone else but may not work for you!

The goal is to separate what we want from what everyone else wants. Only then can we start to ignore the peer pressure we all told ourselves we left behind in high school. Personal finance is exactly that: personal. There are some basic pillars of personal finance, sure. Beyond that, all you can do is soak in the advice, learn the basics, and make decisions that benefit you the most.

The content of this post originally appeared in The New York Times and Lifehacker.

Happiness – an inside job

Published on December 2015December 2015 by BriAlys

I recently discovered a new blog, Hack Life, and one of the site’s last post is absolutely amazing! The title of the article ism “Happiness is an inside job”. I even found an article written by the Huffington Post that describes the very same concept this way:

As long as you believe that your happiness comes from outside you, happiness will likely elude you. Every moment that you look to people, things, events and outcomes to make you happy is a moment of life lost. Every moment spent trying to control someone or something in the hopes of getting what you believe will make you happy is a moment of happiness and joy lost. Happiness is not something that happens to you. It is something you choose or don’t choose each and every moment.

Is that not amazing? I love it! But, back to the original article; I will summarize the tips here for you because reading the pointers/tips alone are valuable in itself! You can read the original article for more commentary.

Here are the 12 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone:

You don’t owe anyone the right to regulate your dreams.
You don’t owe anyone the right to clutter your mental and physical space.
You don’t owe anyone else a rationalization for investing in yourself.
You don’t owe anyone another excuse (but you owe yourself another chance).
You don’t owe anyone the authority to validate you.
You don’t owe anyone the love you need to be giving yourself.
You don’t owe anyone the respect you deserve to be showing yourself.
You don’t owe anyone else a “yes” when you need to say “no.”
You don’t owe anyone else your quiet “me time.”
You don’t owe anyone a change in your fashion, style or appearance.
You don’t owe anyone else an explanation about your important relationships.
You don’t owe anyone the power to repeatedly break your heart (but you owe yourself a chance to heal once and for all).

See also: No is a complete sentence sentence from THE shined rhimes herself in a discussion with Oprah. ♥ her and her! lol